Really listening

In habit 5, Covey suggests that we "seek first to understand, then to be understood."  This is a very helpful concept to me.  We often think we are listening to someone else, but we really aren't.  I have come to the realization that I am a pretty terrible listener.  Covey explains that we approach converstations with others with a personal autobiography going on inside our brain.  Before we even try to understand where that person is coming from, we are thinking about what it has to do with us, what we will say in response, and what has gone on in our own lives that relates to that person.  Wouldn't relationships be completely different if we listened to people with the complete goal of understanding THEM?  What if I approached a conversation by resolving not to think about myself at all?  It would be so much easier to relate to others.  I often go into conversations with a pre-conceived notion of what someone is going to say, the mood they will be in, and what I will say back that will be nice, helpful, and genuine.  I don't have bad motives; in fact, I really want to be there and help people.  But do I really try to understand them first?  Covey says, "Before the problems come up, before you try to evaluate and prescribe, before you try to present your own ideas, seek to understand."  I think communication between every human being would be completely different if we really tried to listen and understand others before we tried to be understood.